Everyone has Problems
by invader kal
Summary: Gaz and Dib move in with Zim. Later a few other Irkens show up on earth. Drama and problems occur. sorry for the bad summary, first fic. some ZAGR smut, not for young eyes! I don't own Invader Zim or any characters or any of that stuff. rated m for smut, language and disturbing stuff
1. Chapter 1: Fire

Authors Note: Tak and Table-headed Service Drone Bob will show up in chapter two, also any advice or criticism is great since this is my first fan fiction.

Dib just sat on the curb staring at his ash and soot covered boots. As he tried not to think of everything he had just lost he looked over at Gaz. She was sitting on the curb next to him angrily mashing buttons on her Game Slave, but he could see tears threatening to form in her dark amber eyes. Hesitantly he asked her, "Are you okay Gaz?" Without looking up she mumbled, "My only picture of mom was in there, what do you think?"

Dib just looked back at the smoldering ruin that had been their house and sighed. Looking back he could see Gaz was about to start crying when a gloved, three-fingered, hand wrapped around her shoulder. She immediately turned into Zim's embrace and started quietly sobbing. Zim just sat next to her and whispered comfort to her. He winced as her tears soaked through his shirt, but he said nothing. Looking over at Dib, Zim smirked, "Does Zim have to hug you as well Dib-human?" Dib glared and shouted, "No! I don't even like you touching my sister, let alone me." Gaz looked up at both of them and said, "Be quiet"Zim and Dib both looked down and grumbled a small apology. Zim looked up at Gaz and softly asked, "Could you save anything?" Gaz just sighed, "Nothing that really mattered." Zim sighed and looked to Dib with the same question. "Well I got my laptop out, but that's pretty much all."For several hours the three just sat and watched the firemen work and the heat die down in the rubble behind them.

As thunder boomed and dark clouds loomed overhead Zim slowly looked up and rose to his feet. "Can we go back to my base now, please?" Dib looked skeptical but Gaz nodded and rose to leave. So they all climbed into the Voot Cruiser and headed off. When they were all finally sitting around the table in Zim's kitchen, Gaz looked over at Dib and said, "I guess we should call dad or something." Dib nodded silently and got up, looking out the window watching the rain, and walked into the living room. Zim picked up Gaz's hand and asked, "Do you have somewhere to go tonight?" She shook her head. He nodded firmly before saying, "Then you and the Dib-beast will stay here." Gaz scoffed lightly, "There's only one couch and no bathroom." Zim just waved her away before shouting up to nothing in particular, "Computer! Add a new wing to the house! Make sure it has two separate bedrooms and a bathroom with standard earth plumbing and running water!" He practically spat out the word water, as if he could already feel it burning his flesh. A bored voice simply replied, "Sure, it should be done within the hour I guess." Zim nodded and grinned triumphantly at Gaz, "You see? Nothing is beyond the _amazing _power of the almighty ZIM!" Gaz just smiled, "Whatever Zim. Thank you." Zim smiled genuinely up at her before moving up to give her a soft kiss.

Dib walked in just as their lips separated and shouted, "Come on! It's bad enough that you two are dating but now I have to watch it!" Zim just smirked and replied calmly, "The Dib is just jealous that Gaz will not have to be a slave like him when this ball of filth is conquered." Gaz and Dib exchanged a brief look before smiling knowingly. Zim was a senior in Hi Skool and his plans were just as bad as when he had first arrived on Earth. Dib hardly had to try to stop Zim anymore, actually Zim's plans often wound up stopping themselves. It was more a game of going through the motions now. In fact, ever since Zim had asked Gaz to be his love-pig, Dib and Zim were almost friends. After all they were both picked on at school, and they knew practically everything about each other. Gaz looked at the phone in Dib's hand and asked, "So what did dad say?" Dibs reply was somewhere between sad and angry, "His assistants wouldn't even let me talk to him." Gaz sighed and felt relief at the three-clawed hand resting gently on her shoulder. Dib awkwardly shuffled his feet before clearing his throat, "Um… Zim I hate to ask but, do you think that we could uh… Stay? Just for tonight." Gaz felt Zim squeeze her shoulder before letting go and stepping back, "What? You want the great ZIM, your future master and slave-lord to allow filthy, pig-smelly hoomans to remain in his home?! How dare you ask such a thing of the almighty Zim?" Dib was shocked at Zim's sudden outburst and shouted back, "Man Zim, I just thought you might let your ONLY friend and your GIRLFRIEND stay for just ONE night, but-" He stopped when Gaz scoffed slightly, and he looked down to find Zim smirking, "Dib, Zim was only as you humans say, 'fucking with you.' Zim has already begun preparations for your indefinite stay." Dib shook his head and sat down, "You can be a real ass, you know that Zim?" But Zim just laughed at this and walked over to the toilet in the middle of the kitchen before saying, "Zim thinks the base is too quiet. I must find Gir before something explodes."

Heading down the tube, Zim wondered what the little robot could possibly be doing. Finally he stepped out to see a turkey sitting on a table in the middle of the lab. His eye twitched at the memory of last time Gir played this trick. It had been three long hours of cleaning exploded bits of turkey off the walls, floor, and ceiling. Zim sighed and called out, "Gir, please don't blow up that turkey like last time." The turkey remained silent and motionless. Slowly Zim walked over and saw that the table the turkey sat on was actually a shipping crate. Carefully he picked up the turkey and put it off to the side and opened the crate. Inside he found a large metal piggy. He raised an imaginary eyebrow in curiosity. As he reached down, suddenly confetti started raining down and techno music filled the air as Gir fell from the ceiling with glow sticks hanging from every conceivable place on his body. Gir landed directly atop Zim's head and grabbed his antennae screaming, "Raaave party!" Just then the Pig opened up a few side hatches and lasers shot out with smoke streaming forth. Sitting in the kitchen Gaz and Dib heard sudden techno music and Zim screaming in pain.

Dib looked up and said, "I guess he found Gir." And they both looked down and went back to what they were doing.

Down below Zim had gotten Gir off his head and was yelling at him, "No Gir, none of the filthy Earth rave parties!" Gir started wailing at that and Zim's already sore antennae went flat against his skull in pain at the loud cries. After a moment or two Zim had enough, "Gir! Gir, we have company! Go and make them waffles!" Gir immediately stopped crying and said, "Waaaafles." He said it in a long drawn out mystified voice. He then charged for the elevator and flew up it. Once he was alone Zim sighed, "That horrible robot will be the death of me." With that he came back upstairs to find humming happily to himself as he laid several stacks of fresh waffles in front of two very sullen Membrane children. Zim asked, "Love-pig? Dib? What's wrong? Has Zim upset you somehow?"Dib just looked up with his chin resting in one hand. "Really Zim, you have to ask? Our house just burned down." This statement only confused Zim more as he had many dwelling places in his life, but he had never had a "home." He said, "So? It is not of extreme difficulty to rebuild such things." Dib sighed, "You just don't get it. I guess it's a human thing." Gaz Looked up and explained to Zim, "We don't really care about the building, we're upset over the memories and the stuff the house stood for."

Zim thought he understood, and he knew he had to do something to lighten the mood. "Well as you said it was memories so they can never really leave you. Even if the house is gone hold on to what you loved about it." Gaz blinked, surprised at the very human sentiment that had just come from the Irken soldier. Dib was equally shocked, and Gaz smiled lightly before saying, "That actually makes a lot of sense." "Yeah," Dib agreed, "I actually feel a bit better when I think about it like that." Zim nodded triumphantly at the sudden uplift in his friends' spirits. Suddenly Computer beeped, "Master the new wing is completed." Dib looked up. "New wing?" Zim grinned, "Your new sleeping quarters." He then took Gaz' hand and led them through a previously unnoticed door in the back of the kitchen. Through this new portal they found a hallway with four doors. Two of the doors were regular doors, and the other two had Gaz and Dib's names respectively. Zim said, "The unlabeled doors are the bathroom and a coat room. Walking into their rooms Gaz and dib found both to be empty sheer metal squares, with a stomach height pedestal in the center of each room. Zim explained, "Simply design your rooms how you wish them to be and Computer will make it so." Dib designed his room almost exactly like his old room, but he gave himself a better desktop. Gaz made her room similar to her old one but without all the Game Slave posters. But it had the same dark blue walls and deep purple curtains with matching bed sheets. She gave herself a bookshelf with her favorite books and a large TV with a beautiful gaming platform. They both replaced the design pads to their pedestals. The pedestals immediately sank into the floor. Holes opened in the walls and floors, and furniture came up from unknown places. The walls and ceilings changed color as the floors turned into hardwood flooring and carpets. Gaz and Dib stood back in slight awe at the transformation of the plain metal rooms into personal bedrooms. It was already late so Dib thanked Zim again and went off to prepare for bed.

Gaz went into her new bedroom quietly and sat on her bed. Zim followed her in and closed the door behind him. Walking over to where she sat he was eye level with her and he said, "Is something still wrong love-pig?" Gaz was always amused at how short Zim was. Though he was a senior in Hi Skool, Zim had never really grown beyond about four feet tall. The other students always gave him shit about it, but Gaz thought it was cute. Of course, he had enough trouble in school with it so she would never say anything to him. Gaz sighed, "Zim we really appreciate you letting us stay here and everything, and what you said earlier makes sense, but we lived in that house all our lives. It was our home and now it's just gone." Zim sat on the bed beside her and put his arm around her. "I know, but you can't change this type of thing. And don't blame yourself, because I've noticed humans always blame themselves when bad things happen. But you can't blame yourself for something that no one has any control over. Besides, your home is wherever you keep your heart."

Gaz pulled him down into a more comfortable position lying on the bed. "Since when are you so helpful on human affairs?" Zim pulled her closer, "Since I did large amounts of research on human psychology when I first began to have feelings for you." Gaz looked down into his deep red eyes and smiled. Zim moved up to her face and kissed her firmly but gently on the mouth. She wrapped her arms around him as his hands became more entangled in her hair. He ran his tongue along her lips, asking for permission to deepen the kiss. Feeling his tongue on her lips she decided to enter his mouth instead. Feeling this Zim shuddered in pleasure and started purring. As he wrapped his long segmented tongue around her own, Gaz let out a low moan. Hearing the noises she made always gave Zim such pleasure that his antennae started to shudder with each sound she made.

Dib suddenly walked in, "Gaz do you know how to- oh come on!" Immediately shielding his eyes Dib looked down and groaned. Zim was somehow thrown off the bed and onto the carpeted floor as Gaz jumped up to throttle her brother. "What the fuck do you want Dib?" Dib still couldn't look at his sister so he looked at the walls, floor, and ceiling instead. "I couldn't find Zim so I was wondering if you knew how to work the shower." She pinched the bridge of her nose and said, "That's it? That's all you wanted"

At this point Gir walked in with a stack of green, glowing waffles and shouted, "Guess who made Rave Waffles!" Zim noticed the complete absence of glow sticks hanging off Gir whereas before he must have had close to a hundred. Shuddering at the thought of what effect Gir's "Rave Waffles" would have on the others as well as himself he said, "Gir! Glow sticks are **not** food! You can't put glow sticks in waffles!" Gir looked down and said, "Aww man." Then he walked out humming a happy tune.

Looking back to the argument between Gaz and Dib, Zim realized that Gaz had **that** look. The look that she got before sentencing someone to a horrible doom that they could never be free of. Running over Zim got between Gaz and Dib and said, "Dib I think you should go to your room for a while, Gaz let's go take a walk outside." Dib started to protest but a glance at his sister and he was off like a bullet.

Zim took her hand and led her outside to the cool night air. Dib decided to figure out the shower in the morning and went to bed. Zim and Gaz walked hand in hand through the neighborhood all the way to the park. Zim kept looking up at his Gaz, still a little surprised at how easily she had thrown him across the room. He was small but she had thrown him like he was nothing at all. He always seemed to forget how much strength was in her petite frame. It made him smile when she reminded him with a punch in the shoulder or effortlessly moving him on the bed. At the thought of the bed he smiled in fond memory of the nights when she would share his bed. Those nights were not very often but they were always wonderful. In fact he had only made her a room to herself, instead of her staying in his room, was so that she had a place that was all for herself. Which was important to humans… for some reason. Though he had studied humans and human behavior extensively when he and Gaz started dating, he still didn't fully understand human sentimentality just yet. But he tried for her and that's all she seemed to want from him. Gaz pulled them over to a park bench to sit down.

As Zim put his head on her shoulder Gaz sighed, "Sorry about that, he just came in right as we got going and well, we haven't had time together for a while. It just annoyed me." Zim laughed, "Well we live together now, so there's plenty of time for just us." Gaz tensed up at that. She hadn't thought about it like that. They had only been together for a year or so and they were still in Hi Skool. Most couples didn't move in together at such an early stage, but she weighed the pros and cons. She would be able to see him all the time, but at the same time she would see him **all** the time. Plus he would see her in the mornings, which was rarely a pretty sight. Although she had spent the night with him plenty of times before, so that didn't really matter really. Also since when did she care what anyone thought of her?

Gaz was brought out of her thoughts when she noticed Zim staring up at her with concern in his eyes. He was standing in front of her with her face in his hands. When had he moved? And when did he grab her face? "Gaz?" He sounded like he had said her name a few times. "Sorry Zim, just spacing out I guess." He gently ran a claw through her purple hair lovingly. "What were you thinking about Gaz-love?" She smirked, "Just the pros and cons of living with you."

Zim let out a short barking laugh, "There are no cons." And he leaned in to kiss her passionately. Gaz immediately gave in to him, wrapping her arms around him. Pulling her up into her she almost giggled when he wrapped his little legs around her waist. He seemed blissfully unaware of how childlike his small body seemed on her lap. But there was nothing childish about what his hands and mouth were doing. His long tongue invaded her warm mouth as his hands worked their way up and over her body. Feeling somewhat exposed in the very public setting Gaz breathed out, "Let's go home Zim." He grinned, showing his zipper-like teeth and nodded.

Hurrying home they went directly to Zim's bedroom. They went straight to his bed and were slightly surprised at how warm the dark red velvet cloth was. Zim pulled off his shirt without any hesitation and threw it off to the side. Gaz drank in his well toned abs and muscular chest, as well as his smooth, unmarred skin. Gaz thought to herself, he may but short but damn is he sexy. Zim came back down over her and started nuzzling and kissing her neck. She made a soft hum from the back of her throat at the pleasure of his hot tongue running up and down her neck. It was slightly wet, but god it was just so soft. His fingers pulled up at the edge of her shirt as he moved down to lay kisses on her stomach and work his way up. She pulled away long enough to throw her shirt off to the side and he reached around her to pull at the clasp of her bra. When it fell off he pushed it off the bed and laid her down on her back. He started to kiss and lick her right breast as his left hand pinched and played with her other one. She bit her lip to stifle her moaning as her breathing started to get faster. As he suddenly bit her hard nub lightly she couldn't help but cry out a little in ecstasy. She felt him smile as he did it again. She reached down and started rubbing his antennae. He purred lightly and slipped a finger into the band of her skirt and looked up at her asking permission. She looked down and nodded, slightly annoyed at the pause in her pleasure. He pulled her skirt down in a single swift motion. She felt slight chill but it was gone as soon as he came over her once again. She sat up and started undoing his belt as she kissed him. He moved back again to remove his pants leaving him in nothing but his light purple boxers. Gaz eyed his obviously hard member hungrily before he crawled back onto her and pulled her panties down. He moved his head down between her thighs and licked her wet pussy. Her hips bucked at the sudden pleasurable sensation. He let his tongue run along her outer folds and she moaned loudly. She threw her head back as his tongue slipped fully inside her.

She moaned out, "Mmmm yeah Ziim, right there." Zim always enjoyed hearing his Gaz moan out his name. She could hardly hold in a moan of pleasure as he slowly inserted one then both of his thick fingers and started making slow scissoring motions. He steadily increased the rhythm of his fingers as his tongue rolled around her swollen bead. As he continued this for a few minutes her breathing turned to a sort of raspy panting. She once again started stroking his antennae and he increased the pace of his fingers and tongue. His purring added a delicious vibration to his tongue and lips as he kissed and lightly nipped at her folds. Finally she threw back her head and cried out his name as she climaxed into his mouth. Pulling his fingers out when she finished, he looked into her eyes and started licking his hand and lips lustfully. She stopped him with a smirk and said, "If you think we're done already, then you haven't learned anything yet." Zim smiled and said, "I wouldn't dream of stopping yet." He enveloped her mouth with his own and explored the hot cavern of her mouth yet again. He ran his hand up her thigh and up to her boobs. Her breathing picked up again as he went back down to nip and suck on her perky breasts. He backed off briefly to remove his boxers, revealing his throbbing cock. Gaz smiled seductively at the sight of it, thinking about how it was huge compared to the rest of his diminutive body. They locked eyes as he climbed back up and positioned himself between her legs. She closed her eyes and released a long, low moan as he began sliding up and down her lips. She propped herself up onto her elbows and started to suck on Zim's antennae. Tensing for a moment he let out a grunt of ecstasy. He reached down and grabbed her hips as he repositioned himself to actually enter her. He hovered above her entrance as she lightly nipped the tip of his antenna. He exhaled sharply as he thrust into her slowly. Gaz squeaked at the sudden pleasure, and scolded herself for such a noise. She quickly forgot it though as he pulled out to just the tip and thrust back in hard. She hummed in pleasure as he continued the slow but strong pace. Just as she was about to ask him to go faster he did exactly that. He continued thrusting quicker and quicker into the tight, wet body below him. She moaned loudly and stopped sucking his antennae so she could kiss him passionately before going back to them. Still burying his tool all the way into her soaking wet pussy Zim leaned down and continued licking and fondling her hard nipples again. They could both feel themselves getting close to climaxing as he continued his fierce pounding. Gaz thought she couldn't feel any better when he abruptly slammed into her G spot again and again. She released a scream of pure ecstasy as she hit her orgasm. Her tightening muscles forced him ever closer and as she had a second orgasm within minutes he came as well.

When he finished he pulled out and crawled up so he was at the same level as her face. He kissed her softly and asked, "Good?" Gaz tried to hide her smile but couldn't, "You're getting better." Zim smiled darkly before they both settled into each other's arms and fell asleep.

Dib pulled his head out from under his pillow as the sounds of his sister yelling Zim's name ceased. He whispered to himself, "I hope every night isn't like this." He then tried to sleep without thinking about what went on below him.


	2. Chapter 2: Landing

Table-headed Service Drone Bob had been more than content with his life for the past few years. The Tallest may not have given him the money he won when Zim survived training on Hobo 13, but they had given him a very large ship; A ship with enough snacks on board to feed a crew of five hundred for a little over a year. With him being the only one on board it had stretched considerably. Also the captain's quarters were much more comfortable than his crummy hammock back on the massive.

When Zim had launched himself off to who-knows-where in an escape pod leaving Bob to fly through a very hot star, Bob was surprised to make it out of the whole situation alive. So he did the obvious thing and found a nice calm part of space, with a nice view and relaxed. And relaxed. And relaxed. Bob had never really had a problem with being alone, in fact he preferred it. But he had been in his calm corner of space for a long time. Almost five years in fact. And his snacks were running very dangerously low. He didn't really want to go back to the Tallest and be treated like dirt again.

There was only one thing he could think to do. So he went to the computer controls and looked up the coordinates that the escape pod had been sent to.

Zim woke up at around two o'clock in the morning with Gaz still in his arms. He smiled as he remembered another night with his human. Since he was more than happy to stay and watch her sleep in his embrace for a while, he stayed like he was for a few more hours. When he finally got up, it was still very early and she hardly stirred as he got up and dressed for the pulled his gloves on as he walked to the elevator. It was about five so he figured the humans would wake up soon enough. He walked into the kitchen and began to make breakfast.

Not long afterward, Dib walked in with severe bed-head and obviously slept in clothes. Zim smiled politely, "Sleep well Dib-human?" Dib thought to himself, it would have been better if you two had kept the noise down. He kept this to himself however and instead said, "Fine, and you?" He cringed at his reflexive reciprocation of Zim's question. Zim knew Gaz would kill him if he said anything about their "activities" last night so he kept his mouth shut and simply nodded.

The room fell into an awkward silence as Zim plated the eggs and bacon and put them on the kitchen counter. Just as Dib poured himself a glass of orange juice, they heard the elevator come up with Gaz. She walked in with her clothes from earlier somewhat neater than Dibs and her hair unkempt. She walked over and sat down as Zim poured her a glass of juice and brought her a plate of food. He then sat down next to her with a steamy mug of a strange, sweet smelling drink.

They all ate in somewhat strained silence as Zim and Gaz kept glancing at each other and smiling. Dib just ignored it all and refused to acknowledge what was happening in front of him. When they all finished eating Gaz headed off to the shower and Dib went to his room to get his things, meaning his laptop and nothing else now, together. When she finally came out of the shower she looked at Zim and said, "Why does the bottle of gel with my name on it smell just like me?" Zim grinned, "I had Computer make it based off of my description of the way your hair smells. Dib has a normal bar of Earth soap though." Gaz smiled slightly and headed off to her room before skool.

When she came back into the living room she found Dib wearing his same pants and t-shirt from last night. She was wearing her usual combat boots, black skirt and black tank top over a long-sleeved silver thermal shirt. She was also, of course wearing her signature skull necklace. Dib grabbed his trench coat from the hall closet and they all walked out to the Voot.

The Voot Cruiser was parked on the curb as usual, disguised as an expensive Italian sports car to make the other humans jealous. Zim almost always drove to skool with Gaz, but Dib usually walked. However Zim's house was further than where the Membrane house had been, so he decided to come with them. Since the ship was so simple to operate Gaz and Zim sat in the front seat together, holding hands, while Dib sat in the back looking out the window.

When they pulled up to the Hi Skool, Zim and Dib both released a long sigh and climbed out after Gaz. Zim and Gaz walked in, holding hands, and went to Gaz's locker. As they walked down the hallway they heard Brian yell, "Look, she's gotta hold little Zimmy's hand!" Gaz knew it was best to ignore them and just kept walking, but as people kept laughing Zim pulled away from her and said, "I'll see you at lunch." Then he rushed off to his own locker with his head bowed. Gaz was about to call out to him but instead turned to Brian.

He stopped laughing when his eyes met hers. He was frozen in fear as she walked up to him. All the laughter in the hallway stopped as her fist pulled back and she punched him squarely in the face with a sickening crack. He hit the ground as he started bleeding profusely. As she was walking away she heard Zita whisper, "You know you can't fuck with the kid when his _mom_ is around." Brian held his face gingerly as he moaned, "Crazy bitch broke my nose." Gaz just ignored them and continued on to her locker.

Dib was on his way to his own locker when The Letter M put his foot directly in Dib's path. Dib was so used to this trick that he jumped right over M's foot. As he was still in mid-air though, Torque Smacky pushed him into the lockers next to him, hard. The force of the impact caused him to bite the inside of his cheek and he tasted a pretty good amount of blood. He looked up as M and Torque high-fived and walked away.

Ignoring the light laughter around him, Dib got up and put in his locker combination. As soon as he opened the door an air horn went off and a large blow up alien fell out, causing Dib to stumble backwards and fall on his backside in surprise. The entire hallway exploded into fits of raucous laughter. He sighed and kicked the stupid toy out of his way, only to find the word "crazy" written all over the inside of his locker. He sighed again and pulled out his books.

Dib walked into the classroom and found Zim already at his desk with his head resting on his arms. Dib sat next to him and said, "They already start with you too?" Zim looked up and nodded, "Yeah, you too then?" Dib nodded and put his head down as he waited for the lunch bell. After what seemed like an eternity of the teachers incoherent babbling, the bell finally rang.

Zim and Dib went off to lunch and sat at their usual table and waited for Gaz. Melvin and Sara came up first though, and sat across from them. Melvin took Zim's lunch and was about to throw it away when Sara stopped him and said, "Hey, come on you shouldn't pick on little kids. Besides he needs his lunch so he can get big and strong like the rest of us." Melvin smiled and said, "I guess I'll have to pick on someone my own size." So he threw Zim's lunch in Dib's face, then he grabbed Dib by the collar and pulled his fist back.

Just then someone grabbed him by the wrist and the collar and pulled him off the bench. Sara looked over to see Gaz staring at her with her foot on Melvin's throat. Once Sara had fully run out of the room Gaz released Melvin, who followed Sara quickly. Gaz then went around the table and sat between Zim and Dib. Dib quietly thanked her and handed Zim his lunch back. As always they all finished lunch quickly and Gaz played her Game Slave while Zim and Dib ranted about nothing.

Bob was starting to regret being alone and doing nothing for the last few years. He really should have studied piloting, or engineering. They best he could do was lock a set of coordinates and send the ship away on auto-pilot. He couldn't do any kind of maintenance or repairs on the ship. In the constantly updating world of Irken technology, Bob's ship was old and obsolete. It had also gone several years without any form of maintenance or upkeep. So as he approached the planet he wished he knew how to land it. Or even aim his crash. It would be just his luck if he crushed Zim's house with Zim in it. Bob was hardly surprised as alarms and warnings started blaring in his antennae when he entered the atmosphere.

Zim, Gaz, and Dib walked into the house after skool just as Computer chimed, "Proximity warning, incoming Irken vessel." Zim's antennae shot up, "Vessel? There are no visits scheduled from The Tallest. Computer, scan the ship and see who it is."

The view screen turned orange and red with flames as Bob neared the planet's surface.

Outside the back window they could see a bright ball of fire headed straight for the back yard. Computer finally responded, "Vessel owner unknown, unregistered Irken military ship." Zim perked an eyebrow and said, "Computer, scan the ship for any life forms." Computer almost immediately responded, "One Irken life form detected aboard."

Bob strapped in as the surface drew closer. He really wished he could land a ship right now. He noticed buildings below him, and after what seemed like forever he felt the ship lurch forward sharply as it collided with the surface.

The obviously Irken ship slammed into the ground with a spray of flames and dirt. The three rushed outside to examine the crash. The ship seemed very badly damaged but the cockpit area was apparently intact as the glass shield opened. A dark figure slightly taller than Zim crawled out and stood shakily before them.

Gaz, Zim, and Dib all realized who it was and breathed the name, "Tak."


	3. Chapter 3: Gathering

Bob stumbled from his ships wreckage. He was sure he had seen buildings around him, so why was he surrounded by trees? He headed off towards a gravel path through the woods. After a few minutes he came across a bench next to the path. There was a small wrinkled creature with baggy skin draped over its bony frame. Bob assumed this must be one of the human-beasts he had heard of from Zim's transmissions. Hoping it could help him find his way to Zim; he walked over and cleared his throat. Now that he was closer Bob thought it must be diseased as he noticed small brown spots going all up and down the human's hands and arms. The human looked up and smiled when it saw the small Irken.

In a shaky, high voice that spoke of experience it said, "Well hello there young 'un. Where are your mommy and daddy?" Bob wasn't sure what a "mommy and daddy" were so he said, "Uh, I'm not sure where I am. I'm trying to get to Zim, can you help me?" the diminutive human smiled again and replied, "Okay dear, let old Edith get you home now." Then the human stood slowly and took his hand to lead him away. Bob wasn't very comfortable in the humans grasp, but he assumed it was a regular human practice so he wandered off down the path with "Edith".

Tak smirked smugly at the sight of the trio and took a step towards them. As she started another step her smirk faltered and she fell down face first into the dirt at their feet. Zim turned to Gaz and said, "What should we do with her? I mean she did try to take my job and take over your planet last time she was here." Gaz thought for a moment, "We could give her to the cops. They would probably keep her out of our hair." Dib interjected, "We couldn't do that without exposing Zim as well. Besides she must have come here for a reason. Maybe she's on our side this time." Gaz rolled her eyes. Dib had told her that he had a crush on her last time she was here. She figured he was probably trying to get on Tak's good side. Gaz shook her head, "Fine put her on the couch." Zim turned to Gaz with a shocked expression, "What?! Why should we let her stay? I don't want her on my planet; why would I want her in my house?" Gaz raised an eyebrow, "Your planet?" Zim looked up at her, confused, "Huh?"

"You just said 'my planet' like it's your home or something."

"No-I-you just, shut up! Irk is my home, I meant that when I conquer this ball of filth I will rule it so it's MINE."

Gaz smirked, "Uh-huh. Whatever Zim." By this time Dib had already scooped Tak up into his arms and was headed for the door. Zim jumped in his way, "I said no, this is my base and I won't let you bring her in here." Dib scowled, "Hey, we live here too. We get a say and the two of us agree that she can stay." Zim looked at Gaz for her to back him up, but stopped when he saw she had sided with her brother on this. Zim sighed, "If she hurts Gaz I'll kill you both." Without giving either of them a chance to reply he turned and went straight to an elevator to go down to his lab. Gaz shook her head and said, "I hate it when he gets all protective and shit." Dib nodded, "Yeah, but at least you know he cares."

Gaz walked inside ahead of Dib, "It's still annoying as hell." She went off to her room and closed the door. Dib brought Tak into the living room and set her gently on the couch. He looked over her messy clothes and dirty face and headed to the kitchen. He walked back in with a dry clothe and some of Zim's cleansing chalk. He sat on the edge of the couch and started to gingerly wipe away all the dirt and soot from the crash. As he cleaned her arms and then her face, Dib wrinkled his nose, "I'm so sick of the smell of smoke."

Bob sat in a small room in the large building. The sign above the door as he came in said "Precinct". He wasn't really sure what that was but the humans inside all had the same type of blue uniform with tiny metal shields on their chest. This seemed utterly ridiculous to Bob as the shield was too small to defend against anything. The wrinkled human who brought him here was talking to a uniformed person with a handlebar mustache in the other room.

There were a few other humans in the main room, which he entered through. Bob had noticed from his conversation with Edith that female humans have growths that male humans don't. This helped him determine more about the human female he was studying in the main room. She was wearing very revealing clothing and he could see plenty more than just her fishnet stockings as she bent over a chair. He could also see her bare spine and stomach as her shirt only covered the bare essentials. The chair she was bent over had a strange male sitting in it. He had red pants and a white button-up shirt that was open down to his sternum. He was also wearing a strange wristwatch that tethered him to his chair. The female was forcing a small silver blade into a small opening on the watch. As she finally popped open his watch the man stood to his full height.

It seemed somewhat ill fitting as he was shorter than the female. He reached over the counter and grabbed a wide-brimmed hat and a red velvet waistcoat. Just as he slipped both on, the uniformed man with the mustache yelled in a gruff voice, "Get 'em!" the female frantically grabbed the velvet man's hand and cried, "Come on Silky, let's go!" Then the two of them charged out the door with many uniformed humans close behind.

As the commotion died down, the man with the mustache walked into his small office and sat down, "So little boy just tell us where you live and we'll get you home quick." Bob nodded, "I don't know where it is, but I'm supposed to be staying with Zim." The officer perked up at the name, "You said you're staying with Zim? Well not too long ago Dib sent my men over there every freakin day. We'll get you over there in a jiffy."

After a few hours so they could both cool off and think, Gaz decided to head down and talk to Zim. When she walked out of her room she noticed Dib asleep in a chair next to Tak. Gaz shook her head, "Figures." Then she headed over to the same elevator Zim had used not long ago. She found him sitting in front of a low work table absent mindedly pulling apart an important machine and putting it back together again.

She moved up behind his chair and draped her arms around him, "Hey. Are you still mad at Dib?" Zim sighed and ran his hands up her arms, "Zim was never mad, I just don't want you to get hurt. I don't trust Tak at all, and then Dib just brought her in like an old friend. It just… I don't know. It bugged me."

Gaz smirked, "Yeah, he still likes her I guess. But come on, I can take care of myself better than you or Dib. Plus the three of us kicked her ass all over the place last time. What's to stop us from doing it again?" Zim nodded, "I guess you're right. But Zim still doesn't trust her." Gaz smiled, "Me neither."

Tak woke with a start. Her whole body was sore and her head wouldn't quit throbbing. After a few moments to calm her headache she thought aloud, "Well, I guess this means they didn't kill me." She looked around to see where she was and found two surprises. First she was on the couch in Zim's living room, and second the Dib-human was asleep in a chair next to her.

At first she was confused by the human's presence, but as she realized what he was doing there she nearly burst out laughing. Her guard had fallen asleep. She wondered what Zim would do when he found out about it. Tak decided to go find Zim as he was surely in charge of these pathetic humans. She got up quietly and made her way to an elevator.

Gaz came around Zim's chair and sat on the table in front of him. It was low enough that they were about eye to eye. She asked, "So what should we do with her. Torture her into telling us why she's here?" Zim grinned and leaned forward so their foreheads touched, "You know how much it drives me crazy when you talk like that." Gaz smiled mischievously, "We could use that Asian water torture, it would probably be much worse for an Irken." Zim shuddered, and Gaz wondered if it was because of the thought of the torture or just him enjoying her playful cruelty.

Zim reached up and put his hand around her neck as he enveloped her mouth in a hot kiss. She thought to herself, well that answers that. Both of them were so preoccupied to hear the elevator chime as Tak stepped out. She noticed the two of them quickly and shrieked, "What's going on?! Is she trying to eat you?!"

Zim jumped back and stumbled over his chair. Just as he hit the floor Gaz said, "What are you doing down here? You're supposed to be upstairs. Where's Dib." Tak ignored the questions and screeched, "Don't eat me, I taste terrible! Eat him not me!" Then she ran over and held Zim in front of herself as a shield. Zim shrugged her off, "She wasn't trying to eat me. It's a normal way of humans showing affection. As delicious as Zim surely tastes, we were just kissing."

At first she seemed skeptical but then she realized what he had just said, "Wait, wait, wait. Affection? You actually feel affection for this human? You do realize how illegal that is, right? Even you aren't that dumb. Do the Tallest know about her?" Zim's face grew very dark and serious as he took a step towards Tak, "No, and they never will. As much respect as I have for the Tallest the law doesn't matter. She is important to me and I will never let her be executed. If you breathe a word of this to any person ever, I will kill you slowly and painfully. When you finally cannot comprehend the difference between pleasure and pain, and you beg for me to let you die, then I will rip your Pak off with my bare hands and crush before your own eyes. Then I'll let you shrivel up and die in the most painful ten minutes of your life." Tak had unconsciously taken a few steps back in fear. She had never seen any Irken so frightfully serious, especially not Zim.

Looking between the two aliens Gaz cleared her throat, "Excuse me, but can we go back to the whole execution thing? Zim, are you trying to tell me that if your government finds out about us, I could get killed? Why has this never been mentioned before? How could you just not tell me about this, I mean it's not like it's a small thing we're talking about here." Zim shuffled his feet, "Well, um, there's a small law, that's not very important. Nobody really even knows about it."

Tak cut in, "Pretty much every Irken knows that law and its one of the most important rules for invaders to follow."

Zim fixed a cold glare on her, "One more word and I'll kill you where you stand. Anyway it basically says that any non-Irken who joins into a mated partnership with an Irken is a threat to the Irken military, and is to be officially executed immediately. And Zim never told you because nobody was ever supposed to just show up. Zim expected to have time to prepare and hide any evidence of your existence. Nobody would have ever found out. Besides, it wasn't something you needed to concern yourself with."

Gaz shook her head, "It wasn't something I needed to concern myself with? Why would I not be concerned with this? Even if you were the only person alive who knew that law, you should have told me. Dammit Zim, why would you keep something like that from me."

"Gaz I-"

"You know what, I don't wanna hear it Zim. I really don't. Your such a prick, you always try to be so protective of me, and then you just risk my life like that. Honestly this is the worst thing you've ever done. Why would you take such a big risk?"

"I just wanted-"

"I don't want to sit here and listen to your excuses. I need to be alone for a while Zim."

"But Gaz wait-"

"Just leave me alone asshole."

And Gaz ran off to the elevator. Zim turned to Tak, "I never should have let you stay here. Get the fuck out of my lab Tak." Tak looked at his serious face, "Zim its better this way, you already have a bad reputation-"

She was abruptly cut off as Zim's fist collided with her face, "never say another word to me again bitch. Now get out of my lab before I have to explain to Dib why I murdered his woman." Tak wasn't sure why he had called her Dib's woman but she didn't want to be killed so she took off and went upstairs.

Dib woke up when he heard the door slam hard. He immediately noticed Tak was missing so he ran to the window to make sure she hadn't run off. Instead he saw his sister storming away from the house for some reason. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard Tak behind him, "Zim pissed her off. He left out some very important details about their… relationship." Dib turned to face her, "Like what?" Tak shook her head, "You'll have to ask one of those two, I'm in enough trouble with Zim." He nodded and motioned her over to the couch, "So what are you doing on Earth this time?" Tak looked at him with a very serious face, "Maybe I'm here to kill you for ruining my plan last time."

Her serious expression deflated to one of depression and desperation, "Actually, as much as I would love to kill all three of you, I'm not here for that. After you three beat me, the Tallest saw me as an even bigger failure than Zim. They kicked me out of the military. I couldn't even get a job on Foodcourtia without people mocking me every day. The control brains banished me, not only from planet Irk but all of Irken space. And Irken space is growing more and more. I got so angry at the Tallest and the brains that I tried to join the Resisty. Even those fools refused me. The only place that stays out of Irken military space _and _Resisty territory is this galaxy. The only thing I could do was come out here and try to start over."

Dib examined her face as she recounted her recent hardships. He found that all her emotions seemed genuine. He also found himself thinking, she's still beautiful, even without her disguise. Dib was surprised at his own thought but there it was. And the more he thought about it the more he realized he was right.

He opened his mouth to speak but closed it again as the doorbell went off. He grumbled, "I'll get it." He walked over and opened the door. His jaw nearly hit the floor as he saw a _third_ Irken standing in front of him. This one however was downright tiny, even compared to the other short aliens. He was barely two and a half feet tall in fact. There was also the sheriff standing next to him.

The officer tipped his hat, "Hello Dib. It's been awhile. This little guy says he's supposed to be staying here with that friend of yours, Zim." Dib buried his face in his hands. This cop didn't seem to care about the tiny _undisguised _alien standing here. This was even worse than when Zim lost a contact lens in a game of bludgeon ball and passed it off as pink eye. Dib shook his head and waved the Irken inside with a sigh, "Yeah, he can come on in." the cop smiled and went back to his patrol car, thinking he had just dropped off a weird looking lost child.

Bob was nervously rubbing his hands together as he walked in, but he visibly relaxed some when he noticed Tak reclining on the couch. He walked over to her, "hey um, I'm Bob I know Zim kinda." She looked down at him, "Well good for you." He took an instinctive step back as he remembered that she was higher ranking than him so she would treat him the same way the Tallest did. He looked down, "Sorry, I'll just leave you alone then." Tak looked back down to him, "Wait, do you not recognize me?"

"Should I? Yeah you're taller than me but I can't remember all of my tellers." Tak smiled at the thought of an Irken who wouldn't make fun of her. In fact she was about at the same level as him. She held out her hand, "My names Tak. So where have you been that you don't know who I am?"

"Oh well I was on a ship by myself out in space so I didn't have any contact with people for a while."

"Alone in space huh? That's must have been nice."

"Yeah it was, but I sorta ran out of supplies. I didn't feel like dealing with the Tallest anymore, so I decided to come out here." Tak decided she could live with this little Irken; she may even call him a friend if they could both stay for a while.

Bob sudden looked like he remembered something so he turned to Dib "Is it okay if I stay here for a while, I don't really have anywhere else I can go." Dib nodded sympathetically, "Well, it's okay with me, but you'll have to ask Zim." Bob nodded, "Where is he by the way?" Dib looked up, "Computer, where's Zim?" Computer beeped, "Zim is currently in the lab, he is engaged in telecommunications with the Tallest."

Authors Note: i know that I labeled this as humor and tragedy but the humor part is mostly just occasional one liners and sitcom type stuff. also the next chapter stuff is gonna start to get sad so don't come here for a giggle. sorry folks!


	4. Chapter 4: Hate

Gaz walked down the street, fuming. As in smoke was literally rolling off her body. She didn't care where she went or how long it took to get there, Gaz just wanted to be away from Zim and think right now. She just couldn't understand how Zim would keep that from her. She wanted to bring him so much despair that he couldn't sleep without nightmares of what she could do to him.

But for some reason she felt awful for wanting that. It was a horribly unfamiliar feeling that she couldn't quite place. She hated the unpleasant emotion immediately and tried to place it. The more she thought about it the more she realized it was hurt. Betrayal and sadness seemed to choke out all her aggression and rage. Gaz realized that she had let herself become too emotionally attached to Zim. She had fallen in love with his quirks and his flaws, his crooked smile, everything about him. He listened to her and comforted her when even Dib couldn't tell she was upset. She loved him and trusted him, and he had lied and hurt her in return. Just like her father had.

But Zim had always been there for her right? He loved her just as much as she loved him, he cared about her in every way she could think of. Zim had probably thought she would leave him if she knew. She smiled slightly as she thought of how much Zim secretly worried about her leaving him. She couldn't live without her Zim. He was even more important than any Game Slave or Bloaty's pizza. He listened, respected, and loved her. Her father never seemed to do any of those things.

Gaz didn't know for sure why she was blaming her father for everything bad in her life right now, she just was. And he deserved it after all, didn't he? He was the most neglectful parent in the history of neglectful parents. Gaz grimaced as the strong smell of smoke brought her from her thoughts. Somehow she had found her way subconsciously to her old house. She scoffed at the realization that she had only been living with Zim now for three days and she was already calling this her "old home." She was kinda surprised by how quickly she seemed to have gotten there. Looking at her watch revealed she had been walking for nearly half an hour. It seemed like she had only been walking for ten minutes.

The ash and ruined framework of the house had cooled enough for her to look around a bit. The only thing still standing were the thick beams of the houses frame, so she had no hope of salvaging anything from the second floor or the attic. As she moved through the thick ash, Gaz noticed a distinct path through the ashen debris. She followed it to the staircase leading down into her father's lab. The door seemed smeared and darkened with soot but the handle was perfectly clean. As she descended the stairs she heard her father inside working on something.

Gaz pulled open the door without knocking and stormed in. She strode angrily up to her father, "Dad, what the fuck?! How long have you been down here?" Professor Membrane turned to face his daughter, "Now Gazelene, you shouldn't use that kind of language. No eleven year old girl should speak to her father that way. Such profanity is for adults. Also I have been in and out of this lab for approximately one and a half days."

Gaz shook her head fiercely, "I'm seventeen dad, I'm a junior in Hi Skool. And did you notice the house burned down, and your kids were missing? Do you even care about the house?" Membrane thought for a moment, "Are you sure you're seventeen?"

He looked off at nothing and pressed a button on his sleeve, "Simmons, how old is my daughter?" His eyes lit up as an electronic voice replied, "I believe she's eleven sir, wait scratch that. The records indicate that she is seventeen years old."

Membrane turned back to Gaz, "Well I suppose you were right about your age. This has been a lovely conversation daughter, now I really must return to my experiment." As he turned back to his work table Gaz grabbed his sleeve and spun him around, "That's it? That's all you have to say? You never even bothered to call and check if we were alive, Dib even called your office. You wouldn't answer. You really don't give two shits about us, huh? I always thought you would at least notice something like this. You are honestly the worst possible excuse for a parent in the whole fucking universe. If your kids dropped off the face of the earth you probably wouldn't even notice. The only things you care about are yourself, your image, and your god damned work."

It felt good to finally release all her pent up anger. She had been thinking these same thoughts about her father for years, only now she had enough going on in her head she was willing to let it out. She might have felt bad letting all her emotion out on her father, if he didn't deserve all of this and more. She only felt herself get angrier as Membranes face did nothing to reveal whether or not he cared, "I don't know why Dib looks up to you so much, your seriously the biggest asshole I've ever met. If you need something from us talk to Dib, I don't ever want to hear your voice again. Stay here and do you fucking science, Dib and I aren't your problem anymore." She waited a moment and when he finally shrugged and mumbled something about "teen angst", she let go of his sleeve and headed for the stairs. At the door she turned back, "I hate you."

Dib raised an eyebrow at Computer's statement, "You know, now that I think of it Zim hasn't even mentioned the Empire directly in months. Maybe you should wait until he's done." Bob nodded and jumped nervously as the door burst open.

Gir walked in with an armload of grocery bags, "Hi there errybody!" then he skipped past everyone into the kitchen, humming an upbeat tune. Bob blinked a few times and turned to Tak, "Was that a sir unit? I've never seen one in person before. It seemed… odd." Tak smirked, "That's a pitiful excuse one, but yes it was a sir unit. Gir is even more defective and malfunctioning than his master. If you wanted a prime example of a sir unit, you should have seen Mimi," Tak turned a sharp glare at Dib, "before _they_ ruined her. I built her myself."

Tak smiled proudly at the memory of building her former companion. Dib looked at the ground in shame as a horrible guilty feeling settled into the pit of his stomach. Bob smiled at Tak, "If you built her I'm sure she was incredible." Tak turned away, and blushed.

Dib stared daggers into the tiny Irken who was flirting with the girl he had been in love with for years. He cleared his throat, "Hey Tak, can we go for a walk real quick, I wanted to talk to you about something." Tak rolled her eyes and sighed, "I've got a better idea Dib, you go on a walk by yourself and I don't kill you and everyone you love. How's that sound, hmm?" Dib nervously ran a hand through his raven hair, "Look, it's kind of important okay?" Tak sighed again and looked at Bob, "I'll be back."

He smiled and went to sit on the couch as they walked out the door. Once they were on the sidewalk walking away from Zim's house Dib started talking, "Okay, I'm not sure if you realized this when you were on Earth before, but I liked you a lot back then. And if you don't understand, that means I wanted to be in a relationship with you. Even back then I had only really had one girlfriend, and that was Gretchen. I didn't honestly give two shits about her, but when I met you it was different. You actually listened to me and I really needed that back then. You never even called me crazy. You paid attention and you believed me about Zim. You have no idea how much all of that meant to me. When I first found out that you were Irken, I didn't really know what to think. I've had a few years to really think about it. Tak, I still really care about you, and I was hoping that maybe you'd go out-"

He stopped when he noticed that Tak had come to a standstill and was doubled over with her hand over her mouth. At first Dib was worried by the shaking in her shoulders but his mind went blank as she bent back and burst out laughing. Dib felt his heart drop into his boots as she seemed to try and calm herself down.

After a few solid minutes of unrestrained laughter Tak started to get a hold of herself, "Heh, heh, oh that is rich. Thanks Dib that's the most I've laughed since I was banished. Damn that's funny. You actually think I was listening to a word you were saying. I was just gleaning important information and nodding at the unimportant stuff. Whenever you asked a question I would just access my Pak memory files to answer. And you still like me too. That just makes it even sweeter for me to say this."

Tak's jovial smile turned to a hateful sneer accompanied with a dark glare, "I despise you Dib. And Zim and your sister. Your whole wretched species is made up of nothing but revolting, horrendous, _things_. Of all the races known to Irk humans are the most vile. Xenophilia is always bad but what Zim is doing and what you suggest is utterly disgusting. How could you possibly expect me to reciprocate your repulsive feelings? Even if it weren't highly illegal, your still a member of the most repugnant race in the universe. More importantly though, you had a large hand in bringing about the very worst chapter of my whole life. Every waking moment since that day has been a hellish nightmare that I can't be free of. The one and only reason that you three are still alive is because I need you. Zim can help me set up my own base, on the **opposite **side of the planet! Every word that escapes your mouth makes me want to rip off my antennae and shove my claws though your eyes so I can silence your pitiful excuse for a brain. You would do very well to never speak to me again."

Tak turned away from Dib as the shock of everything she just said sunk in. she walked off in the direction of the city but stopped long enough to turn back and hiss, "I hate you."

After Tak had gone up the elevator Zim collapsed into his chair. It was times like this that made him hate his strong feelings for Gaz. He had never told her about the stupid law because he knew she never would have gone out with him. The way his insides flipped at the thought of never having been in a relationship with Gaz told him just how little of an option that was. He couldn't live without his Gaz. She was more important than any mission, even more than the Tallest themselves. Zim never wanted her to find out about all this. He had kept her hidden and safe, never mentioning her in any way to any Irken.

If it weren't for Tak she never would have left. He just hoped Gaz came back. Tak. Just the mention of her name put a foul taste in Zim's mouth. He hated her more than anything else. Zim was thinking to himself, maybe I should just go upstairs and tell her to get the fuck off my planet.

A high pitched voice suddenly brought him from his thoughts, "Zim? Red I think he might be dead. Score!" Zim turned and stood as straight as possible. He saluted firmly, "My Tallest. Zim was not expecting a call. What can I help you with sirs?" Purple was standing in front of a big couch with a drink in his hand. Red was slouching on the couch with his head resting back, seeming bored with everything.

Purple continued, "Well Zim, you haven't called for a few months and we wanted to know if you were dead yet- er your mission was a success yet." Zim sighed, "No my Tallest, I'm afraid not. Some… complications have come up and slowed me down." Red piped up from the couch without looking up, "Don't tell us it's that big-headed human. Even you can't be that pathetic."

Zim hadn't even tried to take over the Earth in a few months. He was actually really enjoying the planet, especially with his Gaz at his side. Zim kicked himself again for angering his love before replying, "No sir, the Dib-filth isn't a problem," he tried to think of a reasonable excuse quickly, "You see my Tallest, Tak has returned. Yes, she has made things very difficult for Zim."

Red looked up at Zim and eyed him suspiciously, "And?" Zim looked confused, "And what, my Tallest?" Purple cocked an eyebrow at Red as he stood up and moved closer to the screen, "And there's something else isn't there?" Internally Zim began to panic as worry about Gaz filled his thoughts. However on the outside Zim projected the perfect image of calm.

He innocently asked, "What do you mean my Tallest? Zim does not know of any other hindrances to his mission." Red turned to Purple and started whispering. At first Purple looked utterly confused but after Red gestured towards Zim he seemed to realize what Red was talking about. Purple turned to Zim and closely scrutinized his face. When he finally spotted what he was apparently looking for he gasped and turned back to Red. As the hushed conversation continued for several minutes Zim started to sweat. It was only a little bit, not enough to notice through the transmission.

Finally Red and Purple turned back to Zim, both wearing huge evil grins. Purple reached out of the screens view and pulled back a bag of popcorn, "You do the talking Red, I want to watch this." Red smiled all the wider, "Zim in all the time you've served us, you were the biggest fuck up in all of Irk's history. Even as a smeet you couldn't get anything right. You've caused several massive blackouts, the death of two separate Tallest, and nearly wiped out our whole race."

Zim could feel himself sinking down into his chair. The Tallest had never spoken so blatantly about his failures before. At least not to his face. His antennas pulled back in shame, Zim knew this had to be the worst feeling he had ever been subjected to.

Unfortunately Red didn't stop there, "You disobeyed a direct command from the Control Brains and fled banishment. When you were _legally _recaptured and brought back to Foodcourtia to serve out your banishment, you escaped _again _and fled back to Earth. You fail at absolutely everything you do. However, through all of that you were still the most loyal Irken in the armada. You never lied or kept information from us. At least that's what we had believed. You've been keeping something from us Zim, and I think we know what it is. You've got teeth marks on your lips and a hickey on your neck."

Zim swallowed and prepared to deny Gaz' existence when Red surprised him, "You and Tak are mating aren't you?" Zim choked and coughed as Red quickly continued, "You both know it's illegal for Irkens to be in a relationship, and that attempting to reproduce through any means other than cloning is punishable by death. You're even more defective than we thought Zim."Zim cringed; the thought of mating with Tak was horrible and made him sick to his stomach. And being called defective was even worse.

Zim focused on Red, "No! Zim is not defective. The Tak-beast is revolting and Zim wants to see her dead even more than he wants to conquer this ball of filth. Zim would never want her to even touch him, let alone…" Zim visibly shuddered at the thought of being with Tak.

Purple chimed in with a mouth full of popcorn, "Hey why does that sound so sincere? I mean come on; Tak's the only Irken in that part of the universe. If it wasn't Tak then who could it have been?" Zim felt he chest tighten up. Red looked back at Purple, "come on he has to be lying. There's no way he…" Red looked back at Zim with a disgusted look on his face, "Zim you're not actually doing it are you? You can't be mating with a filthy Earth native. It's just disgusting."

Zim felt his whole body go cold. He had never said a word about her. Never mentioned her in any way. He had been so careful about them finding her. How did he let this slip? Purple saw the horrified look on Zim's face, "Oh man he really is too. Red look at him he totally is." Red shook his head, "That's even worse Zim. Not to mention it's like twice as bad as just mating with another Irken." Zim's deep red eyes went glassy and blank as he tried to think of a way out of this.

He blinked and quickly said, "No my Tallest. You don't understand, the bite is from myself. You see I was nervous earlier today and I was chewing on my lip. Yes, and the mark on my neck is… um, a rug burn! Gir tackled me and the carpet left a mark on Zim's beautiful skin. So you see? Perfectly explainable my Tallest. Zim is just as disgusted by the _filthy_ humans as you are."

Red and Purple stood still and stared at him with doubt written all over their faces. After a few moments of continued silence Zim snapped, "Zim swears my Tallest! There is no one, not on Earth or any other planet!" Red scoffed as Zim started panicking and began yelling any excuse that came to his mind.

Red turned to Purple, "Should we tell him the truth, I mean it's not like it matters. If he stays on Earth then he's out of our way and he can't fuck anything up." Purple nodded, "Yea but how do we know he won't come back like the last time he was banished?" Red thought for a moment, "If we can break his loyalty then he should stay where he is. Maybe if we're lucky he'll kill himself too."

Purple turned to Zim just as he seemed like he was about to start sobbing, "Zim, we decided that we won't kill you, or your human. But don't think that means you won't catch hell for this. We have some stuff that you really should have realized by now but eh, whatever. Everything that Red just said was true, but he left out some key stuff. You really are the worst Irken, ever. We hate you so much we broadcast all your failed attempts at your mission across the Empire, just for laughs. At the Academy on Devastis, we use your for an example of a defect."

Red sat back down on the couch as both of them tried to contain their cruel laughter. Purple continued mocking Zim, "They show your plans to smeets and have them point out why it'll fail. You're the laughing stock of the Irken Empire. We have poster of you with catchy phrases like, 'Zim can't even succeed at being banished' and 'study hard so you aren't the next Zim.' That last one is super popular with the trainers on Devastis. There all over the Massive." Red spoke up from back on the couch, "When you showed up at The Great Assigning we had no clue what to do with you. We tried to give you a sandwich and send you on your way, but you wouldn't take no for an answer. Man you were just so annoying. We even sent you off to an unknown quadrant of deep space. You weren't supposed to live. You were supposed to just drift off into space and die of starvation. We never gave a shit about Earth. You just kept calling and calling about your stupid mission. It was a fake mission and you _still_ didn't make any progress. It was amusing at first, but it got old really fast. The only reason we stayed in touch was to make sure you never came back. We tried to kill you for Irks sake. How did you not realize it."

Purple cut in, "Hey did you ever get that 'new A.I. brain' for your house? Yea it was programmed to kill you at all costs." Zim shook his head as tears rolled down his cheeks. His voice was shaky and uncontrolled as he said, "Zim… I… I-I don't… understand, my Tallest." Red smirked and said, "It's simple Zim, we hate you."

Authors Note: Please don't be mad if you like DATR, i enjoy it too. Unfortunately this story worked much better this way. I was afraid that I might have made Tak a bit too bitchy in this chapter. Also I'm not crazy about the call from the Tallest. Eh what evs though. Don't forget to review!


	5. Chapter 5: Snapped

Gir whistled a happy tune as he finished putting away groceries. Smiling to himself, he was about to walk back into the living room when he heard a crash emanate up the toilet elevator. There was no one else around to investigate, so Gir strode over to the elevator and went down to the labs. As he descended the crashing and shattering glass grew louder and louder. Gir was completely at home with these kinds of sounds, but usually he was the one causing them. The noises were almost always bad when he didn't do it.

He was starting to get scared when the elevator chirped, announcing his arrival. As the door opened Gir gasped in surprise. The lab was in utter ruins. A chair was lodged in the main computer screen. All of the control boards were sparking and hissing. The buttons and switches on them having been almost all shattered and ripped off. The vials, beakers, and science equipment were smashed and thrown about the room. The most frightening thing that Gir saw however, was his master.

Zim remained, panting, on his knees in the middle of the floor. He was surrounded by the debris of his lab. His hands were dripping with dark emerald blood, his gloves torn apart by shattered glass. There were several small cuts across his face and arms. A large shard of broken metal protruded from his left calf.

He looked up at Gir and his face briefly hardened. He spoke in an eerily calm voice as he called out, "Gir, come here. You're master needs a hug."

Gir hesitantly walked towards his master. Zim had never asked for a hug before. He even got mad when Gir offered him one. Gir was getting very nervous and skeptical about what his master wanted.

As Gir slowly embraced him, Zim asked calmly, "Do you know why the Tallest made you Gir?"

Gir thought for a moment, "Is it to be with master forever and ever?" as he said this he wrapped his small metal arms tighter around Zim.

Zim grimaced from both the pain of the embrace as well as the stupidity of the statement, "No Gir. It was to humiliate me, and to hold me back even further than my own incompetence would. They made you as an annoyance for me. They made you so everyone would know I'm a useless, pathetic excuse for an Irken. But most of all they made you as a detriment to my mission, which was a lie any way."

Gir was about to contradict his master and tell him that he loved him when Zim reached up and pulled Gir's head open. Gir knew immediately what his master was doing, he screamed and struggled to get away as Zim reached up and angrily pulled out a fistful of wires. He shoved his claw back in and repeatedly yanked out bundles of circuitry until Gir went silent and stopped moving.

When his minion finally quit thrashing he could feel a small thread inside himself. It was very thin and already quit frayed. As he sat in the lie that was his base, dismantling the lie that was his first true companion, Zim felt the worn string of his sanity snap. The last precarious piece holding his entire being together finally shattered. Zim looked down to the floor as his eyes lost all their sparkle. All of his energy and enthusiasm seemed to flow out of his body. When he looked back up his eyes were glossy and dark, he didn't even seem to focus his gaze on anything as he picked up his hollow robot and limped over to the elevator.

Bob watched Tak walk past the house scowling. He ran out the door and down the sidewalk to catch up with her. When he finally caught her, he grabbed her arm and stopped her, "Tak, what's up? You just walked right past the house."

Tak looked back at him and blinked, "Did I? Sorry I didn't even realize how far I'd made it."

Bob nodded, "Yeah, and you looked pissed off. What happened? What did the human need?"

Tak sighed, "He was just being a normal human, so stupid."

He shrugged, "Eh. So far the humans I've run into weren't that bad. They helped me get to Zim's pretty quick too."

She nodded, "Yeah, many of them are tolerable. Unfortunately there are also ones like Dib. The get an idea in their head and can't think of the situation in any way that doesn't have to do with what they're stuck on. They think that just because they feel a certain way, when they tell people their feelings, regardless of the circumstances, you _have _to agree with them. They don't think about other people's opinions. It's just unpleasant and awkward. If you don't tell them exactly how you feel and why, they'll never leave it alone. Even if you come off harsh you have to set them straight."

Bob nodded again, "Do you need to talk about it? There is a nice path in the park that I found after I landed."

As he ascended in the elevator Zim heard a faint whispering. He couldn't exactly tell what it was saying but it was there none the less. He looked down at Gir and saw his eyes still black and devoid of life. He looked up, "Computer, speak up I can't hear you."

Computer replied cautiously, "I… didn't say anything."

Zim focused on the voice and tried to discern what it was saying and where it was coming from. He had no idea who was talking; he had never heard this voice before. It was harsh and quiet. It almost sounded as if Zim himself had simply lost his voice from yelling too much.

He couldn't tell where it was coming from either. It seemed to whisper directly into his mind, bypassing his antennas entirely. The voice breathed, "You're alone now Zim. You have no one left. They _all _hate us now."

Zim immediately recoiled from the cruel sounding voice, "No! I'm not alone! I have Gaz, and Dib, and Gir too!" as he mentioned Gir, Zim waved the lifeless robot around in the air as proof.

The voice let out a hoarse scoff, "Every one of them despises us. Just like the Tallest did. Dib has hated us from the beginning. He would give us to the human authorities any time we gave him the slightest chance. Gir may have loved us at one point, but you just destroyed him. Even if we can fix him, why would he ever trust us again? He surely hates us now too. And Gaz is the worst of them all.

She did the same thing that everyone has done to us since we were a smeet. She used us Zim. She needed an outlet to relieve her emotions, just like all the other humans do. If not us, she would have found another to play with. She put up with us so that she could complain to someone. She needed a toy to vent all her frustrations on. If she could have gotten away with it, she probably would have beaten us. And now you went and gave her a reason to leave us. She hates us just like everyone else now. But that's okay, now I'm free. Now you can hear me when I cry out for you. You never belonged with these humans, you belong with me. Alone, in complete solitude. We can finally have our sweet loneliness together. The only one you've ever needed was me Zim."

Tears had begun to run down his face as Zim stepped out into the dark floor level of the base. The usual whirring of the computer was so quiet you could barely hear it. The main power must have failed when he was below, ruining circuitry and equipment.

Zim bowed his head and tried to block out the voice. As he tried harder the voice seemed to grow louder, "Zim don't fight me. I can help you end all your suffering."

Zim opened his eyes, "How? How can you make all of this end?"

The voice chuckled, "All of your problems come from the people around you. You were fine with staying on Earth until the Tallest told you why. You never felt lonely until Gaz came into your life only to leave. You never felt like an outsider until Dib and the humans ridiculed us. The solution is so simple. Zim all we have to do is leave these people behind. All of the sadness will go away when you remove the source of the pain. If we leave I can help you forget your problems."

Zim tried to think of a way to deny what the voice was saying. As he wandered the house and found it empty, he knew the voice was right. They had all left. They hated him. If he had never known them to begin with then he wouldn't feel this horrible emptiness inside when they left.

He walked out the front door and kicked a lawn gnome on his way out. As it hit the ground its head fell off and rolled away. Zim kept walking, not caring anymore. He looked up at the skyscrapers in the distance. With a few words from the new voice he headed off.

Gaz walked around the corner and continued down the sidewalk towards Zim's house. She looked up as it came into view and instantly knew something was off about the sight. The usual greenish yellow glow was absent from the house.

She didn't really start to fret until she came upon the headless gnome that was knocked over on the lawn. She looked at it for a moment before rushing inside. All of the lights were off and the walls were completely silent. The mechanical sounds were inaudible and Gir could not be heard running around the house.

She looked up and shouted, "Computer, status report."

Computer droned without its usual lazy tone, "Base damage critical, Computer functions ninety-six percent offline."

At this point Gaz was very worried about Zim. She knew that he had a bad temper and was fairly accident prone. She really hoped that she hadn't caused all this by walking out. Zim _had_ to know she still loved him. They had fought several times before, never really about something that big but still. He wouldn't react like this, would he?

She decided to focus on the task at hand, "Computer take me to Zim."

A negative beep informed her that it couldn't, "Command not recognized. Guest protocols offline."

Gaz released an annoyed sigh, "Then tell me what happened."

Another beep, "Command not recognized. Guest-"

"What is the status of the security systems?!"

Computer paused before replying, "Ninety-four percent offline. Repairs under way."

She nodded, "Can you show me the security feed on Zim when the base was damaged."

A video screen came down from the ceiling and settled in front of her. The static on the screen gave way to show Zim sitting with his head bowed and the Tallest on the computer screen behind him.

Gaz felt her heart clench as she watched the entire transmission. When they finally seemed to stop mocking Zim, the two tall Irkens burst out laughing. Her eyes watched Zim's face as tears stopped flowing and his eye twitched. He suddenly picked up the chair he had been sitting on and hurled it at the screen in front of him. Her chest was aching fiercely and tears ran down her cheeks as Gaz watched her lover ransack everything he could get his claws on. When he finally came to rest in the middle of the room she saw tears starting to come to him again. He wiped his eyes as the elevator chimed and Gir stepped out. Gaz breathed a sigh of relief as she watched the little robot try to comfort its master.

She was wondering why they were still below if everything was over when Zim spoke in a creepy voice and started to pull his minion apart. Gaz let out a small, horrified yelp as Gir screamed and fought. Her hand went to her mouth and tears came even harder as she watched him pick up the motionless robot and coldly limp over to the elevator.

Gaz desperately wished she could have been here to help him as she watched Zim start talking to himself. Her shoulders started shaking as she watched him walk out the door and never come back.

Authors Note: This update is coming with a big overhaul on all the previous chapters. The format for all of them is going to be changed. However none of the content is really going to change. The only difference is minor spelling corrections. Also I have a bad habit of leaving a word or two out when I type each chapter, I'll try to fix that. Also I got somebody to read over my chapters before I post them so those mistakes shouldn't come up any more. Thanks for all the previous reviews! Don't forget to post more!

InvaderZora: I know and I'm sorry but the hits won't stop coming for Zim. This chapter kinda points out that he is turning into damaged goods. And the Tallest have always been assholes any way.


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